Couples Counseling Worcester MA; How to Show Up Fully for Your Partner: Start with Yourself
Self-care: Couples Counseling Worcester MA
I often find myself so busy—focused on work, racing around to attend to my children’s needs, showing up emotionally, mentally, and physically for my partner and my family. I'm constantly distracted, pulled into the world of my phone, binge-watching shows, making dinner, ensuring everyone has clean clothes, and remembering to take out the trash on Fridays. Oh, and wait—did I put on deodorant and brush my teeth today? Yikes!
With all of the stress and competing demands we are all facing, it can be really hard to realize how we are coming off to the people around us. Especially the people we are closest too. Usually that is where we tend to lower our guard and self-awareness. However, if we are not careful, our partners can feel like they are getting the leftovers where patience is lowered, frustration increases, and the impact of stress seeps in without us even knowing it until our partners have their reactions to it. And it usually is not pretty.
One way to connect with your partner is to first connect with yourself. Slow down.
When was the last time you actually noticed yourself taking a breath? Has it been a few minutes, hours, or days? What does it feel like when you truly become aware of your breathing?
How can we fully connect with the people we care about if we’re not routinely slowing down to check in and connect with ourselves?
It’s all too easy to live our lives on autopilot. Here are some ways to be more intentional about slowing down and spending a few minutes each day reconnecting and checking in with ourselves.
Take a couple minutes to sit in your car after work, before you start driving, or pausing in your driveway before entering the house to greet everyone. Close your eyes and notice the silence. Feel the sensations in your body. Can you feel your heart beating? Can you hear and feel your breath? Can you pick up on subtle sounds that would have gone unnoticed if you were preoccupied?
Take a lunch break, don’t work through it! Go outside if you can and take a walk during your break, even if it is for a few minutes where you have sun and a breeze on your face.
While you are brushing your teeth in the morning, just brush your teeth, nothing else. Notice what it feels like to brush your teeth
Imagine how it would feel to engage with your partner after taking just a few minutes to connect with yourself. I wonder if you might become more aware of how you're feeling, what you may need more or less of in that moment, or how you want to engage—or not engage—with those you’ll interact with when you walk through the door or leave your home office.
It's so easy to be unaware of how we’re feeling and how our behaviors affect the people around us. These are a things you can try to become more self-aware and improve connection.
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