Couples Counseling Worcester MA. What Our Brains Like To Do.
Couples Counseling Worcester MA. Overthinking
Our brains have evolved to problem-solve, think, and assist in tasks like hunting and finding safe places to live or building shelter, and assess danger—essentially, to ensure our survival. In our minds, all thoughts are equal; our mind can't distinguish the validity of one from another. Thoughts continually come and go, creating a background chatter. At times, we might become "hooked" by our thoughts, feelings, sensations, and memories, resulting in feeling an increase in destress and/or feeling stuck. This is a common experience for everyone and can divert us from what we truly value, the aspects that give richness and meaning to our lives.
Russ Harris, author and ACT trainer, compares the brain to a radio. It's like being tuned into the "doom and gloom" station, making it challenging to focus on anything else. Attempting to drown out this station, we may try changing the channel, lowering the volume, or ignoring it altogether. However, we often find ourselves drawn to the radio chatter, evaluating it, and being pulled away from what truly matters to us.
Similarly, when our minds get hooked by unwanted thoughts, feelings, sensations, or memories, we engage in various strategies such as overthinking, problem-solving, validating, or disproving thoughts, and distracting ourselves through activities like drinking, eating, watching TV, or using social media—all in an attempt to silence the mental chatter. This relief tends to last for a short amount of time. The unwanted thoughts, feelings, or memories tend to come back and sometimes come back even stronger.
The key is to acknowledge the background "radio," our thoughts, regardless of their nature, and allow the chatter to exist, even the distressing aspects. When you aren’t wrestling with the “doom and gloom” station, you have more energy, time, and ability to engage in what has meaning for you.
One effective method is to practice a grounding technique—simply noticing what is happening in your body in the present moment. Pay attention to whether you are sitting or standing, feel the ground beneath your feet, notice your position on the chair, and gently stretch or move your body. Engage all your senses to observe things around you, from sights and sounds to tastes and smells. This grounding exercise isn't about changing your thoughts and feelings but aims to help you connect with the present moment. This connection allows you to gradually decide how you want to engage with what truly matters to you.
Meghan C. Foucher, LICSW specializes in anxiety & couples counseling Worcester MA. Helping couples and individuals shift out of stress, anxiety, and conflict while improving communication and regaining connection.
