Couples Counseling Worcester MA: Manage Your Inner Dialogue

Feb 19

A white woman with long light brown hair is sitting down in front of her lap top holding a white coffee cup in one hand and a pen in another hand looking off to the side in deep contemplative thought. — Externalizing Your Inner Voice: Couples Counseling Worcester MA’s guide to Mental Wellness

Have you ever noticed a constant commentary in your head?

Have you found yourself trying to sleep while the voice in your mind just won’t quiet down?

Don’t worry—you’re not going crazy! This happens to almost everyone. It's a normal part of how our brains work: thinking, assessing, planning, figuring things out, and judging.

However, if you are this internal dialogue grows louder, stronger, and more distracting it can impact you and your relationships.

The voice often sounds like our own, and because it seems to come from within us, we tend to think, “This is me. It must be true. It must be accurate. I should take this seriously.”

In fact, one helpful way to engage with the commentary in our minds is by creating some distance between ourselves and that unruly, rambunctious voice.

One approach is to imagine this voice as another person.

If you were to name this voice, what would you call it? I’ve named mine Stanley. Once you’ve given it a name, try to picture what this voice would look like if it were a person. How would they act in real life? How would they treat others? Imagine what they’d do if they could step out of your head and interact with the world.

Use your imagination! The more specific you get, the easier it will be to see this voice as separate from yourself.

This is the key: You are not the voice in your head.

In fact, you can start to talk back to it. For example, you might say, “I know you’re nervous for me, and I appreciate your concern, but right now, I don’t need your help.” Or, “I know you’re trying to be helpful, but I’m okay. I’ve got this.”

What you don’t want to do is try to silence the voice or push it away, as it will only get louder and more insistent. Instead, acknowledge the voice, observe it with curiosity, and then gently refocus on what you were doing before you got distracted by the commentary in your mind. You may need to do this many times throughout the day—and that’s okay. The more you practice this technique, known as "externalization", the more you'll get accustomed to engaging with your internal dialogue in a new way and stop taking it so seriously.