Couples Counseling Worcester MA: Finding Hope in Tough Times
Couples Counseling Worcester MA inspires hope for individuals and couples
Oftentimes, hopelessness stems from feeling like there’s nothing you can do to change things.
At Couples Counseling Worcester MA I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t matter how small the act is or if it’s just for one person—the ripple effect is real.
In couples counseling I talk to my clients about each of them focusing on how they want to show up in their relationships. We cannot change the other person. The more we put effort into changing other peoples’ perspectives, behavior, thoughts, and emotions, the more people get defensive, and either fight back or stop engaging altogether, which furthers the cycle of conflict and disconnection. One person in the system can slowly over time, change the larger system. This is true for families, this is true in couples, and this is true in our communities.
What kind of impact do you want to have on the world?
The small things matter and can have a lasting, positive impact.
1. Look for the helpers:
Okay, who doesn’t love Mr. Rogers? I think he’s the best! In one of his stories, he recounts how, as a little boy, he would get scared during times of trouble. His mother would tell him, "Look for the helpers." It’s so easy to focus on the tragedies happening all around us, near and far, but if you shift your perspective, you’ll see countless people doing good. There are so many ordinary individuals rallying to help those who are struggling or have experienced tragedy. I've seen this firsthand, especially after the events of 9/11. People came together. When disaster strikes, the human spirit can soar, and we become fearless in helping one another. Look for the helpers—it helps instill hope.
2. Reach out and connect:
In today’s world, it’s easy to feel disconnected, even though we’re more “connected” than ever. It's important to engage with real, live human beings. Think about ways you can make connections—small ones, like striking up a conversation at the grocery store or chatting with someone at the park. Maybe you’ve never spoken to your neighbor, but today could be the day you say hello. You could also join a group activity hosted by your local recreation department or library. I often see people talking and connecting at my local YMCA.
3. Practice gratitude:
Developing a habit of gratitude can significantly improve anxiety, stress, and depression. One of my favorite ways to practice is by creating a gratitude jar or box. Each day, I write down something I’m grateful for on a small slip of paper. It can be something small, or if it’s the only thing on your mind, you can repeat it every day. For example, this morning, I was grateful for the simple joy of a hot shower. This small act of gratitude can help shift your mindset and bring positivity to your day.
4. Do small acts of kindness:
It can be hard to step outside of your own world, but doing small acts of kindness can make both the recipient and you feel good. For instance, my neighbors—one in her 90s and another in her 80s—live independently. When it snows, it’s understood that one of the neighbors (along with their kids) will help shovel the driveways. My kids also enjoy baking cookies and sharing them with neighbors.
5. Maintaining a spiritual practice:
Whether it’s praying, spending time in nature, being with animals, meditating, or engaging in a creative activity—make it a more regular part of your life. Surrendering your worries to a higher power, whether it’s God, Allah, Jesus, the universe, or something else, can help lighten the burden. If you don’t have a spiritual practice, perhaps you could start by setting a positive intention.
6. Find ways to have a voice:
Part of feeling hopeless is also the feeling of powerlessness. If you feel like you can make change, that can bring hope. Small acts of power can have real impact.
Think about it, if everyone did a small act to express their voice, what a force it would be.
We saw this during in the 1960’s where ordinary people were using nonviolent ways to resist and express their voice. Join an organization that supports a cause that is important to you, write to your congress representation, protest, donate time or money to a cause. Small acts can actually have lasting change for large groups of people, or even if it is just that one person you support!
I am not here to say that if you do all of these things that you will never feel hopeless again. I think about it this way: when a small child is exploring its world, they come back to their caretaker to seek reassurance, to get comfort so then they can go back out there and grow. This is no different for adults. We need to get out there, but we also need that warm safe place to fall apart, to receive comfort, and validation, and to feel safe. Identify who that is for you! We all need breaks, rest, and to go back out there and live our lives fully as best we can in the moment we are in!
