Couples Counseling Worcester MA: Nurturing Emotional Bonds
Nurturing all aspects of growth at Couples Counseling Worcester MA
After a day seeing my amazing clients at Couples Counseling Worcester, MA, I spent some time with my 9-year-old daughter. She wanted me to sit with her downstairs while she watched one of her TV shows. Although I love my daughter very much and enjoy spending time with her, I wasn’t particularly interested in watching her show and could think of other ways I’d like to use my time. Instead of telling her I didn’t want to watch it and finding something else to do, I asked if there was a show we could both agree on and enjoy together.
We agreed to watch The Great British Baking Show. As we watched the show, we snuggled on the couch, laughing and talking about what might happen next and who would win. We especially were cracking up during bread week when they were making jokes about everyone’s buns, the quality of them, and how they were baked. After spending time together and sharing those laughs, I realized how good it felt. We reconnected, and in a way, we made a deposit into our emotional relationship bank account.
The next day, when I asked her if she had brushed her teeth and if she could get her shoes on for school, she responded calmly. In contrast, when we haven’t spent time together, she can be a bit sassy.
This theme of nurturing keeps popping up for me.
I feel like nurturing should be easy and enjoyable, or that I should automatically be in the mood to do it. But sometimes, you’re just not in the mood to show up, and it becomes work. My impulse is often to veg out and watch a show that doesn’t require me to compromise or scroll through social media—yes, I know, bad idea! It turns out, therapists are just like regular people too. Or I get distracted by the billions of other things on my to-do list.
The truth is, nurturing a relationship—whether it’s with yourself, your partner, or anyone else—takes work, thought, planning, and intention. It doesn’t just happen spontaneously. At first, it may feel like work, but as you get more accustomed to the routine and notice how it feels afterward, it will feel less like work and more enjoyable.
Here are a few tips to help you get into the groove of nurturing your relationships:
Create a daily, weekly, or monthly routine. Put it on the calendar.
Find an accountability partner.
Make it fun.
Think about how you’ll feel after spending time together.
Prepare yourself for the voice in your head that says, “Nah, it’s okay if you don’t do XYZ,” and tries to talk you out of it or push it to the next day.
Set attainable goals and realistic expectations for yourself and others.
Be proud of the little achievements in nurturing your relationships, even if things aren’t perfect.
